Q&A with Stacy Kaye
Author of Damaged Goods: A Devotional for the Slightly Imperfect
Q: This book is extremely personal and you share a lot of painful moments. Why did you feel that was necessary?
A: I went through some very difficult times at a young age. Some of these were a result of my own poor choices, and some of them were due to choices others made, and I had to deal with the fallout. Years later, as I reflected on the many blessings in my life, I really felt God urging me to share my stories to encourage other people who are hurting to hold tight to their faith and to look to God as their source of strength. I firmly believe that God doesn't waste any of our pain. Our wounds become scars, and our scars become stories. I chose to write a devotional because I really didn't want the focus to be on me. These are God's stories of how He carried me through things I never wanted to go through and how He healed and restored me. I wanted to be open and honest about what I went through because I really want the book to impact others. There are plenty of religious books out there that skim the surface or hint around at the hard stuff, but I think people today want to have real, honest conversations. Life is messy. It's full of ups and downs, and Christians are here to glorify God. What better way to do that than to be the hands and feet of Jesus while we are here? Jesus didn't shy away from the tough conversations, and neither should we.
Q: You share about being in an abusive marriage. What do you want to share with women who are in similar situations?
A: This is such a hard topic because everyone's situation is different, and our society places a high value on only showing the pretty parts of our lives, so sometimes even getting a woman to acknowledge she’s abused is difficult. What we will tolerate from others also varies based on a number of factors, including our own childhood experiences, but I want these women to remember who they are and whose they are. You are daughters of the King! He knows you; He sees you, and He loves you deeply— flaws and all. It's not your fault that you are in that abusive situation, but don't stay there. It's incredibly important that you know your worth and that you show your children that you value yourself and want to make sure the cycle of violence does not continue in your family. I know first-hand how easily you can slip into that abuse pattern without even noticing. The control often starts subtlety, and it's not until things escalate that you even recognize what is happening. If you're in an abusive relationship, I encourage you to do what you have to do to get safe and stay safe.
A: I went through some very difficult times at a young age. Some of these were a result of my own poor choices, and some of them were due to choices others made, and I had to deal with the fallout. Years later, as I reflected on the many blessings in my life, I really felt God urging me to share my stories to encourage other people who are hurting to hold tight to their faith and to look to God as their source of strength. I firmly believe that God doesn't waste any of our pain. Our wounds become scars, and our scars become stories. I chose to write a devotional because I really didn't want the focus to be on me. These are God's stories of how He carried me through things I never wanted to go through and how He healed and restored me. I wanted to be open and honest about what I went through because I really want the book to impact others. There are plenty of religious books out there that skim the surface or hint around at the hard stuff, but I think people today want to have real, honest conversations. Life is messy. It's full of ups and downs, and Christians are here to glorify God. What better way to do that than to be the hands and feet of Jesus while we are here? Jesus didn't shy away from the tough conversations, and neither should we.
Q: You share about being in an abusive marriage. What do you want to share with women who are in similar situations?
A: This is such a hard topic because everyone's situation is different, and our society places a high value on only showing the pretty parts of our lives, so sometimes even getting a woman to acknowledge she’s abused is difficult. What we will tolerate from others also varies based on a number of factors, including our own childhood experiences, but I want these women to remember who they are and whose they are. You are daughters of the King! He knows you; He sees you, and He loves you deeply— flaws and all. It's not your fault that you are in that abusive situation, but don't stay there. It's incredibly important that you know your worth and that you show your children that you value yourself and want to make sure the cycle of violence does not continue in your family. I know first-hand how easily you can slip into that abuse pattern without even noticing. The control often starts subtlety, and it's not until things escalate that you even recognize what is happening. If you're in an abusive relationship, I encourage you to do what you have to do to get safe and stay safe.
Q: You talk about the sin cycle. Why is it important for people to understand that concept?
A: I think when we recognize the tendency to move through this cycle where we are always moving toward God or away from Him, we can stay on course much better. In the book, I use the analogy of a plane drifting just one degree off course and ending up miles away from its intended landing spot because even an imperceptible move off course will vastly change the trajectory of our lives. We need to be aware so we can course-correct quickly and stay on track. The Lord has work for us to do while we are here, and in order to do that work, we need to stay connected to God and our focus needs to be on Him.
Q: You say that the “busyness trap” often gets us into trouble. Can you explain?
A: I believe busyness is one of the enemy’s favorite weapons to use against believers. We get so focused on our tasks and commitments that we let vital things like reading the Bible and praying take a back seat. It’s on our to-do list, but it’s not a priority. Once we check everything else off the list, if there is time left in our day, we will open our Bible or pray. I’m here to tell you that this does not work. We busy bees will always
find more to do, another committee to head, business deal to make, or closet to clean. I recognize busyness is a trap that I fall into easily, so it’s a constant struggle to set aside some of that hustle and bustle and spend time with the Lord.
Q: You share a lot of trials but also some triumphs. What have you learned about God through both?
A: God is always faithful. He is the only constant, reliable source in this life, and He wants to be the one we go to first not only when we have trials, but also when we are excited and happy! He wants that relationship, and He wants good things for His children. He created this beautiful world for us to live in, and while it's not without pain and suffering, there are really beautiful moments and abundant blessings if we look for them. As Christians, we know that this world is not our home, but I don't believe God intends for us to be sad, lonely, and miserable while we are here. In fact, we should be looking for the good in every situation because God can take anything and use it for good. In my experience, He delights in doing just that. He has taken my sorrow and pain and used it to impact and encourage others. I've already experienced unexpected blessings through sharing my stories, and as hard as it was, it was worth it just to know that even one person was impacted for the Lord.
Q: Were there any stories you considered not sharing in the book?
A: Yes, I did not share every story, but even some of the ones I included, I thought twice about. Reliving some of the stories was quite painful, and there were lots of tears. In some ways, it was therapeutic to revisit things I had compartmentalized and tucked away long ago, but I prayed about everything I shared and trust God fully to get the book into hands of people who will benefit from it. I think our shared pain connects us even if our struggles aren't identical, and we can empathize and relate to one another through our shared pain. Being transparent and vulnerable is scary, but it also creates bonds between people who are vastly different. No one goes through this life unscathed. Connection makes us human, and it's refreshing to drop the facade and just be real with one another.
Q: What do you hope readers take away from this book?
A: I hope they know that it's never too late, and you're never too old to be redeemed. There is nothing you can do and nothing so awful that God won't forgive you. I questioned how God could ever use me and why He would even want to when He had far better options available. I would look around the church and easily see numerous other women I felt were better suited to be used by God. I know now that was the enemy’s way of derailing me. The time I spent thinking I’m not worthy or useful is time I can never get back, and I am so grateful that God opened my eyes to how wrong I was and for showing me that I am not alone. Multitudes of Christians just like me have walked a similar path. They have messed up and damaged their witness for Christ, but that doesn’t have to be the end of their story. God is adept at using sinners for His glory. I think He delights in it even.
A: I think when we recognize the tendency to move through this cycle where we are always moving toward God or away from Him, we can stay on course much better. In the book, I use the analogy of a plane drifting just one degree off course and ending up miles away from its intended landing spot because even an imperceptible move off course will vastly change the trajectory of our lives. We need to be aware so we can course-correct quickly and stay on track. The Lord has work for us to do while we are here, and in order to do that work, we need to stay connected to God and our focus needs to be on Him.
Q: You say that the “busyness trap” often gets us into trouble. Can you explain?
A: I believe busyness is one of the enemy’s favorite weapons to use against believers. We get so focused on our tasks and commitments that we let vital things like reading the Bible and praying take a back seat. It’s on our to-do list, but it’s not a priority. Once we check everything else off the list, if there is time left in our day, we will open our Bible or pray. I’m here to tell you that this does not work. We busy bees will always
find more to do, another committee to head, business deal to make, or closet to clean. I recognize busyness is a trap that I fall into easily, so it’s a constant struggle to set aside some of that hustle and bustle and spend time with the Lord.
Q: You share a lot of trials but also some triumphs. What have you learned about God through both?
A: God is always faithful. He is the only constant, reliable source in this life, and He wants to be the one we go to first not only when we have trials, but also when we are excited and happy! He wants that relationship, and He wants good things for His children. He created this beautiful world for us to live in, and while it's not without pain and suffering, there are really beautiful moments and abundant blessings if we look for them. As Christians, we know that this world is not our home, but I don't believe God intends for us to be sad, lonely, and miserable while we are here. In fact, we should be looking for the good in every situation because God can take anything and use it for good. In my experience, He delights in doing just that. He has taken my sorrow and pain and used it to impact and encourage others. I've already experienced unexpected blessings through sharing my stories, and as hard as it was, it was worth it just to know that even one person was impacted for the Lord.
Q: Were there any stories you considered not sharing in the book?
A: Yes, I did not share every story, but even some of the ones I included, I thought twice about. Reliving some of the stories was quite painful, and there were lots of tears. In some ways, it was therapeutic to revisit things I had compartmentalized and tucked away long ago, but I prayed about everything I shared and trust God fully to get the book into hands of people who will benefit from it. I think our shared pain connects us even if our struggles aren't identical, and we can empathize and relate to one another through our shared pain. Being transparent and vulnerable is scary, but it also creates bonds between people who are vastly different. No one goes through this life unscathed. Connection makes us human, and it's refreshing to drop the facade and just be real with one another.
Q: What do you hope readers take away from this book?
A: I hope they know that it's never too late, and you're never too old to be redeemed. There is nothing you can do and nothing so awful that God won't forgive you. I questioned how God could ever use me and why He would even want to when He had far better options available. I would look around the church and easily see numerous other women I felt were better suited to be used by God. I know now that was the enemy’s way of derailing me. The time I spent thinking I’m not worthy or useful is time I can never get back, and I am so grateful that God opened my eyes to how wrong I was and for showing me that I am not alone. Multitudes of Christians just like me have walked a similar path. They have messed up and damaged their witness for Christ, but that doesn’t have to be the end of their story. God is adept at using sinners for His glory. I think He delights in it even.
About Stacy Kaye:
Stacy Kaye is an award-winning journalist and editor who published more than 1,000 articles over the course of her career. She was a youth worker for 14 years and served as a commander for AWANA, leading 200 students and 80 adult leaders. She has been a Girl Scout leader and has volunteered for pro-life charities and fundraisers. She is also a top-producing realtor, mom to four children and four bonus children, and Gigi to six grandchildren. She resides in Texas with her husband of 30 years. For more information visit www.stacykayebooks.com.
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In her inspirational memoir, Damaged Goods, Stacy Kaye recounts her journey from a small town with a strong church presence to a life marked by unexpected challenges and changes. She is blind-sided by harsh judgment and gossip from her church community when she becomes pregnant outside marriage, emphasizing the need for Christians to embrace love, forgiveness, and restoration over castigation. Her unwavering faith aids her daughter's recovery from Acute Cerebellar Ataxia. Marital challenges and personal loss test her resilience, leading to a period of self-reflection. Kaye learns the importance of prioritizing spiritual health and avoiding the "sin cycle" and "busyness trap." Her story unfolds as she seeks a godly companion, experiences personal growth, and asserts the transformative power of forgiveness.
Throughout Damaged Goods, it is wholly clear that Stacy Kaye finds a well of strength and guidance in God's presence, and as a result, she is able to navigate significant life transitions with grace and conviction. The goal of sharing this is to aid others in doing the same and to help women who have found themselves on the receiving end of what my mother-in-law used to call “congregational stink-eye” know that they are not alone. That there is hope and, most importantly, that there is always salvation. What I liked most is the conversational nature of Kaye's writing and the duality she gives it as both a memoir and a devotional. The questions to reflect on, scripture, and prayer prompts that are sprinkled throughout the book are fantastic. As a writer, Kaye is relatable, and her authenticity does what many similar books are unable to do: make it accessible. Overall, this is a wonderful work for women of all faiths to scoop up.
Throughout Damaged Goods, it is wholly clear that Stacy Kaye finds a well of strength and guidance in God's presence, and as a result, she is able to navigate significant life transitions with grace and conviction. The goal of sharing this is to aid others in doing the same and to help women who have found themselves on the receiving end of what my mother-in-law used to call “congregational stink-eye” know that they are not alone. That there is hope and, most importantly, that there is always salvation. What I liked most is the conversational nature of Kaye's writing and the duality she gives it as both a memoir and a devotional. The questions to reflect on, scripture, and prayer prompts that are sprinkled throughout the book are fantastic. As a writer, Kaye is relatable, and her authenticity does what many similar books are unable to do: make it accessible. Overall, this is a wonderful work for women of all faiths to scoop up.